So I went to the Drivers License place this morning, didn't have to wait long, but they refused to take a debit card so I had to get in the Porsche, go drive through shitty traffic to find an ATM, only to be charged $2 for the service !  Fuckers... 

On the way to this 'detour' I found a UPS store and got my papers notarized so I can file tomorrow  

Did a little clothes shopping to stop me getting pissed at the DHSMV people, only to be told that I'd have to wait and get my license int he mail - AGAIN !  I thought that was only the first time you apply for it... so I have to wait 30 days for it still

Did the Walmart 'stock-up' shop, Jeez, there was Valentines' stuff everywhere, I have NO IDEA what to get SP.  As I normally refuse to cook, I think a fabulous home-cooked meal will do, followed by a pedicure and a massage.  That'll mean he'll fall asleep and I'll get no sex, but Valentine's day sex is always a let down anyway !

So I had a good luch with Raoul in Delray; his upbringing was very interesting, French aristocracy no less.  You wouldn't think it to look at him - not that you can judge a book by it's cover, but he has no airs and graces - is just a regular polite well-mannered kind of guy.  So we chatted over a yummy salmon lunch for about 3 hours on a side-walk restaurant.  Hell I was tempted by the Key Lime Pie  they were offering but I managed to decline and I only drank water ! 

Bless him he picked up the bill too, I told him not to but he said it was to say thanks for the Supper Club - I said you should be paying SP then !

I decided to bypass Walmart, even though it was kinda on the way back because then I'd get caught in rush hour traffic on I-95 and wouldn't have time to prepare dinner, and as I'm going up that way tomorrow to get my Drivers' License renewed, I figured I'd just go there afterwards.

Well the dermatologist called and left a message today that all my blood tests were perfectly normal. .  I was kinda hoping that they'd NOT be, so they knew what was wrong and how to fix it.  So $250 for 3 blood tests and we're no further along.  Great.

Started taking the Zyrtek anti-histamine yesterday, have to take it for a month to see if it helps the itching.  So glad I bought it from that UK website, as it was only $7.50 for 30 tabs, whereas all pharmacies here in the states, and even online USA pharmacies, it was $60 for the exact same brand and quantity !  Same goes for the cream for my face, it is $95 here from a pharmacy, but only $25 from the UK website.

I bet there are millions of Americans out there paying top-dollar for medications when they have no idea they can order it from abroad for 50-90% cheaper !  US drug companies are always a rip off.

Went to Yoga   in the evening and nearly fell asleep during the relaxation part at the end, very unusual for me... SP can sleep where he drops, but I rarely sleep 'in public'.

Pretty good day, considering the awful shit I went through yesterday afternoon/evening.  SP nearly spoilt it by picking and bitching at me to do stuff that I already KNOW I have to do, but I tried not to let him get to me, and sat at my desk doing my Psych homework, and lit an aromatherapy oil burner with Lavender and Ylang Ylang.

TV Watched: None (OMG !)
Weather: High of 74, with a bit of a nip in the air

SP woke me up about 10am when he went to the gym, I got up about 10 mins later and ried to go online, but it had been pissing it down all night so I guess that had somehow fucked up the internet.  So I had breakfast and got in the bath about 11.30am.

He came home and showered, then we went to the office to check email and report the internet problem.

I was REALLY tired after being awake until 4am on shrooms, so I laid down for a bit and listened to the rain beating on the open bedroom window.  I decided not to go to the party tonight, I don't really know any of the girls and I have some 'personal development' things to do. 

He left about 6.30pm and I went online, magically it got fixed after he spent an hour online to the ISP, and I chatted with Raoul for a bit and we arranged lunch for next week sometime, and we had a good chat.

PS.  Now I've changed the 'Mood' headings on the right hand side, all the PREVIOUS entries to today are fucked up , so just ignore them, if you're reading back before July last year.  God it seems a million years ago that I was living in that hell.  I have a NEW hell now

So finally, after 4 years, I get to go to the Stranded Naked Cheeseburger Beach Party on Fiddle Cay. 

I went on Ferd's boat and it took us 3 hours to motor up there from Man O War Cay, although we did have to dive into Orchid Bay Marina on Guana Cay (next island north from MOW) for an hour to avoid a massive downpour and storm  .  Everyone was looking out of their boats at me as I was getting drenched in a tiny bikini, being blown around in the wind on the front hammocks of the catamarran, but I hooked the mooring buoy in one go so I was saved any embarrassment !

As we had been warned, it was a ZOO there, and there was a WAAAAY long line for the free burgers, so I tried a Margarita instead, which was 1. AWFUL and 2. they had run out of the Stranded Naked go-cups .  Well shit ! That's all I went for   So we only stayed an hour.  Will post photos when I get round to it.

More stories to tell soon, can't be bothered to write any more now.

Last year when i was over, i went to a new beautician, and was telling her about my surgery.  She obviously hadn't forgotten, because recently she emailed me and said she had a client who had a bad surgery on the NHS (free uk healthcare) 10 years ago and was looking for it to be fixed privately and would I recommend my surgeon to her?

So I had emailed this lady the details of my surgeon and his website, and when I arrived in the UK there was a note for me to call her (Catherine, lady who wanted surgeon referral) to talk about my experience in more depth.

So we chatted at length on the phone and today she came round and we compared 'things'.  She said what a good job he'd done and that I look very natural, also that I look 20-something not 30-something.  Quite a compliment from a woman, I thought.  She had managed to get a cancellation appointment with my surgeon and was on her way to see him - SO JEALOUS !!   I have to wait until 13th to see him.  I asked if she wanted company/moral support but she had already arranged it with a friend in Portsmouth.

She called later to tell me how the consultation went and was generally very pleased and said how nice he was ("told ya!" I said   ) and that if she went ahead with it he could fit her in on 16th June... day after I fly back !!  She has really no-one to support her, no siblings and not close to parents, so it would have been nice for me to be able to help her out, but never mind.  Turns out that she's a counsellor, so I'm sure she'll be fine!

What a busy day for me !!  Up at 5.30 to take mum to work so I would have the car for the day.  Travelled to BUPA hospital in Havant to see my dermatologist at 9.30am now I've stopped the roaccutane.  She was as pleased with the results as me and said I should 'be the poster child for roaccutane' !   still can't have my tattoed eyeliner 'topped up' for another 3 months though, as my skin is still not healing quickly enough when it takes a slight knock.

Home in time for a quick bite of lunch before trundling off to the hairdressers to hack 1/2 a foot off my hair, since making it dark brown you can see all the damage on the ends, so it has to go !  She did a nice job with just a few layers at the bottom, but $40 for a dry cut was a bit pricey, and I used to whine at Abaco prices !  I have to get my dollars and pounds sorted out.... already spent too much thinking pounds were dollars and I was getting a cheap deal on clothes

I was nervous about the hairdressers, because I hate having length cut off my hair, but it feels so much better, although i feel a bit of a plain-jane with dark hair now... oh well, it will fade very quickly in the Bahamas sun.

Picked mum up from work at 2pm then loafed around until 5pm and my first visit to the Psychotherapist,  we basically just went over my history and why I was there (back,neck caused mostly by stress etc). 

I had pretty much guessed her age right with all her qualifications, definately 'retired' in a very nice posh house full of antiques and such.  Very elegant and composed lady, although she came across more as a psychiatrist than a therapist, didn't get much feedback, but maybe that will come later.  I hate it when you say something you think is insignificant and their eyebrows shoot up and they give a secret smile that makes you want to go "what? what did I say??!!"

She gave me some very hard homework and I'm to see her next Tuesday.

Went for a drink with Brady and he gave me my cell phone back but it didn't work - his daughter had 'unlocked' it but it must be something to do with the fact that it was a US cell phone and it recognised my SIM card but coulnd't make a call.

Old friend from work picked me up and we went to Worthing for a day out.  Walked along the promenade and looked at all the silly people in shorts and t-shirts on the beach, even some nutters in the foul dirty water swimming !  It was sunny but like 60 degrees !! 

We found a 'sheltered' bar/hotel with an outside terrace overlooking the seafront and sat there in the sunshine out of the wind and had a couple of shandy's, me forgetting I'm allergic to yeast and 2 hours later had a banging headache.  Friends' son turned up on his motorbike to meet us for lunch at a little Italian place, even though I had Thai !  He's just become a copper so was full of himself telling us about it, nice lad though, always polite and friendly.

Had to go to bed when I got home, headache was so bad from the beer

Odd things are happening.  I woke at 6am for a start on the floor of my mum's living room with the dog staring at me.

I'm going to see a Clinical Psychologist on Wednesday as recommended by my Chiropractor.  Apparently for the most part, the pains I have in my neck and back which make my life such a misery is because my life is such a misery !   ie. 'emotional stress is one of the primary causes' and that my body's physical reaction to stress is pulling my spine out of alignment.  I'm screwed then.  Just for a change.

Should be interesting to see the psychologist though, as I never got any help before when i needed it.  Wonder what she'll make of my situation...

I also just found out that an old school friend of mine has bought out one of the biggest department stores in my home town, and called it her own name!!   This store had been going since the late 1800's and was an old established name in the upscale fashion industry.  Old money, ya know? 

Her family always had money, but made by slaughtering chickens.   They had a huge house, I remember many a party there and wagging off school with her.  i think I'll pay her a visit when I'm up that way.  I recall having my ears pierced when I was 13 by her mum who also owned a fancy jewellry store in the same City.  I also remember that she was very clever at school but a bit of a slapper, and we all took the piss when she left school at 18 and got a job 'polishing coat hangers' in a small fashion boutique - we were mean and called her a 'shop girl'.  Now look at her !  Go Jill !  Really, good for her - I never knew she had such business sense.

Although things like that just make me feel more of a failure.  I'm nearly 33 for Gods' sake and what have I done with my life?  sure I live in the Bahamas and don't 'have' to work for a living, but I also don't own a house, a car and have nothing to my name except a long list of places I've travelled.  I don't have a normal life, but people think I have it made.  Little do they know.

Hey, at least I'm not stuck in the town I grew up in, went to school in and now still live and work in...  and yes I do knock that situation because no-one can possibly grow as a person if they don't 'see' at least some of the world.

An old work mate has just turned 50 and he has only ever been to Spain from the UK in his whole life.  Same job for 30 years too.  To me that's sad.  The world's for exploring

An old friend from work called and turned up 5 mins later, which was a nice surprise.

He was telling me all about the latest in his love-life, which is usually hectic and amusing, and as lots of profanity was used we decided to walk down to the beach to discuss it as my brother was 'all ears' and no doubt we were being a bad example . 

The beach wasn't as cold as I had expected but I still got earache from the wind, and of course it was a stark and grim contrast to the 'clothing optional' section of Miami beach I had been on just 4 days before.  I really can't hack the cold weather.

As it's a Bank Holiday weekend Steve and I planned to meet up for perhaps a pub lunch or something on Monday, as I had to get off shopping for more jumpers and hair-dye etc before 5pm when the shops close.

He's off abroad with one of his women in a week or so, which I think coincides with the time I'll be visiting my Gran, so he'll come back browner than me !

Feeling rather depressed today , must be the awful weather...  I thought clothes shopping would cheer me up and it did while I was buying, but then when I got the stuff home I wll have to return most of it because it's too small or too big, even though while I was in the States I found out to my delight that I was a size 3/4 and no longer a 6-8 !  (that means I'm now a UK 7/8 even though we don't have 7's, instead of a UK 10-12, and I haven't been a size 8 for 10 years!!)

I have so much stuff to do but am procrastinating as usual because it's shitty outside, and there's a bank holiday weekend now, but the weather's supposed to be nice (well 21 deg instead of the balmy bahamian 26-28, or more) so that would be good, but I doubt it will happen.

So last night we went to dinner at a friends, then he went home and I went to a bar with our 2 friends.  We didn't get to the bar until after 9pm and the old man didn't want to go, so he went home with the dog and said I could stay on the sailboat overnight.

Had a few drinks and a dance at the bar, was FULL of stupid drunk tourists, so I didn't dance but one song when they were all gone.

For some reason Americans and Bahamians don't know what the word 'queue' means - long story about why that came up, but I bet someone $100 that it was in the American dictionary, and by God it was .  Queue=line !!  Ya know, as in get in the queue at the bank, at the airport check-in, at the supermarket... All you dumbasses who didn't know - tut   So that was quite a topic of conversation for the evening, very silly !

So about 12.30am they shut the bar doors so we figure it's time to go home, our friends lent me a duvet and they walked me to the sailboat with a torch (flashlight for Americans LOL) and I got settled in one of the bedrooms, sorry - berths.

I was comfy enough but the wind was howling so the whole boat kinda vibrated.  I did not get a WINK of sleep   and at first light I wrapped a towel round me and poked my head out of the boat and watched the sunrise, saw a few joggers and just looked at the lovely view. 

I was desperately thirsty but all there was to drink was flat tonic water, and half a gallon of stinky frog-spawn water (a frog spawned then died in our water tank, and it made us really ill for 5 days) so I wasn't drinking that!

After rummaging in the cabinets I found a can of mandarin orange segments in juice, so ate and drank that.  I went back to bed for a bit and I guess I was so exhausted that I maybe dozed for an hour or so...

Got dressed and went to our friends house, had a sunbathe, checked email, tried to call the old man but think he had turned his VHF radio off, or was punishing me for having a night out.  

He had said earlier that Friday was 'the' night out and that it wasn't fair that I could go out on a Monday too... WTF???!!    I NEVER go to the mainland with him for his Friday night out, so how is that not fair??  I thought the silliness had passed, but just those few words re-enforced what he really thinks of me.  Most people tease me about never getting off this island, they just have no idea that he MAKES it that way.

Anyway, I had to get a ride home on someone elses' boat as he wouldn't come to pick me up, then walk 1/2 mile home with a heavy backpack, jeans and heels on, all because he didn't like that I had a night out with a couple older than my own parents - not like I was partying with a bunch of people my own age and getting upto 'no good.  

So this morning he acts like nothing has happened and cooks breakfast... WTF?

I really like the scrambled eggs he did and ask what he put in it - he told me... and then said "oh and a tablespoon of arsenic, just so you dont come back from England"

Really does feel like I'm back at work in the real world today

I spent hours on the phone trying to sort out my finances back home, I think everyone I spoke to was a trainee, so that was somewhat stressfull.

Also learnt that a close relative is very ill, so it's a good job I have that trip planned for April, I hope she makes it until then.

Some people I do a FREE website for gave me shit yesterday as it's not been updated... ERRRR.... 1. I never was sent any updates since August last year and 2. don't bitch me out as I do it for FREE !!     I somehow don't think they know I do it for free, as it's through a 3rd party who 'may' charge them, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna take any shit for that.  If I don't get the updates, how am I expected to make changes???

Just another day in Paradise

That's finally it, I've had enough, he's driven me out. Again for no reason.  I went to the chiropractor and when we got back he went back to work and I went to lie down as I normally do after the chiropractor visit.

He didn't come home until nearly 8pm, drunk. Again.    I was on the internet.  He said he wanted to use it, I said sure.  He said then he'd be out of my hair.... what??  So I said I didn't want him out of my hair and when did I say that?

He said I didn't, just that HE wanted to be out of MY hair .  So I knew he was drunk then, trying to start an argument for no reason. 

I said 'don't worry I'll be going to england soon so you wont have to 'get out of my hair'.  He said 'good dont come back, that will solve all my problems.  And don't think you're getting a penny out of me' WTF?  When did I ask for money?

It sounds like a silly argument, like anyone might have, but it upsets me no end.  I did nothing wrong and he comes home and starts on me for nothing.  I didn't have the chance to say even a few words before he started on me.

Things were going so well earlier today looking at the new boat, but now he's made it clear (again actually) that I am NOT welcome to spend time on it.

I just can't take the aggravation anymore.  Fair enough if I did something wrong, but I didn't.  I don't do anything much except be lonely and ill.  He knows that.

I want to run away, go home, something to be away from the mental torture. 

People think he's such a nice person, all polite and do anything for anyone in public, almost submissive... sure he takes me to the chiropractor when I need it and doesn't complain about taking time out of his day for it (well, not often anyway).  He's a different person behind closed doors - when will people understand that??

But the thing is, only drunks and lesbians have lived with him for any length of time, so what do they know of how he treats a 'partner'?  I have lived with him nearly 4 years, at least 5 times longer than anyone else.  So no-one believes me.  How can they?  They haven't been in this situation with him.

He made me physically sick this evening with his abuse - no-one has ever made me feel so bad about myself.  I don't know why he does it.  I can't take it.  I hate it when he drinks.

He complained I was too fat this time last year (at 125 lbs and 5'6"??) so I lost weight to please him.  I lost nearly 30 lbs.  None of my clothes fit, my boobs deflated and my arse headed south.

So then he says I look like 'a fucking skeleton'  and 'you used to have nice tits and arse' and 'you look morbidly ill'.  OK, well I tried to make him happy and failed.

So I went to the UK knowing I would eat 'badly' and put some of the weight back on.  But my boobs were still very deflated and saggy so I thought I'd give him a surprise and get them filled out to their previous proportions.  NOTE: PREVIOUS PROPORTIONS, not a stupid fake boob job like most women do.  Not much I could do about my arse, though !
Well he went ballistic.

What can I say?  I tried to please and failed.  I tried to revive our marriage and failed.  There's nothing else I can do.  I give in.  I'm gone in 4 weeks.  Wish it was tomorrow.

Misery wasn't in my plan when I came here, we had so much in common, but there is a big problem.  Not like I don't have my own, but something is wrong and I'm tired of trying to help him.

Thanks for your help everyone. NOT.

  Well the internet had been down for about 3 days, so that got me in a mood to start with...

I HAVE been out of the house though  and even went for a job interview, but don't think I'll get it, I'm too pricey .  I even gave a manicure and pedicure for a friend, which is good as it keeps me in practice.

I had a bit of a 'mare last night though, couldn't sleep and it was really hot so I had the bedroom windows open and I heard something kinda 'flutter'.  Presumed it was a moth, so i leapt out of bed in freak out mode anyway and it was a fucking roach  so I hollered at the old man to whack it and he freaked out yelling at me and stuff  

Not like he was asleep, as it was thundering like heck and raining hard, but he kept yelling why I couldn't kill it myself. JEEZ, he knows what a phobia I have of these things.  So that upset me and I had to get out of the room and watch TV for the next 4 hours to stop shaking.   I can't help my phobias.

Anyway, today he went shopping and got drunk somewhere, and I had cooked and he just watched tv for an hour and then went to bed   - so much for having some company.  God has he no idea how lonely I am here, I've told him about it enough times.

Well we (or I, at least) had fun on Friday night at a friends big birthday party...  lots of poeple there I hadn't seen in AGES so it was great to see them.

Lots of lovely food and a cash bar, got chatting to some guys I haven't hung out with an ages, so that was nice to catch up.  The old man was hardly drinking which made a pleasant change, so we didn't fall out  as he normally ends up picking a fight when he's had a few.

I can barely remember what I wanted to write now... there was a DJ but I wasn't up for dancing, my back hurt as usual, which was a shame as he was playing some great tunes which took ME back to my schooldays, and I don't think there were many my age there !

I REALLY miss being around people, OK so I can't really call any of them close friends, and it's so 2-faced around here anyway, that even with the 'nice' people you have to watch your back, but just the illusion might be nice sometimes  .  It was just great to chat with different people - how I miss the office back in the UK sometimes and all the people I could natter to.  Ooh I heard some gossip from my old boss that the firm I worked for in the UK is shutting down this year,  so that's pretty big news in the area.

Only 2 glasses of ($6!) wine and I was pleasantly uninhibited.  It was so cold that I had to wear my leather trousers and the first time to wear the long sleeved red wooly jumper that I'd got in the UK last winter.  I'm glad I did too as the festivities were outside !

Old man has gone for for a trial sail on his 'new' boat today (not invited - no surprise there...) so he's a happy bunny.  Good, less stress for me.

I was in bed all day Saturday with lots of painkillers, I was supposed to go to the Chiropractor, had an appointment and everything but apparently they were still in the states - could have at least emailed me to let me know though.  So I had a miserable day in pain on Saturday.  What a waste of a weekend.

Finally we got a good hammering of rain

Didn't realise how long it had been since I posted, been busy for a change tweaking bits for the book and playing with my new MP3 player

Well my blood tests came back fine (ages ago, forgot to post LOL!)so I can stay on the pills, but doc said my cholesterol was high, but they always say that here and in the States so they can make me buy pills for it.  Screw that, everytime I go home I get it checked and they say it's WAY low, so I know the USA has a much lower 'safe'  threshold than the UK, hmm and let me think, which country has the larger percentage of people dying of heart blockages and stuff like that...?

Things are going comparitively well with the old man for a change, he's working his arse off to get the bills paid down, but falls asleep real early which is kinda boring

I've been on the Bowie board alot chatting, and have learnt some cool new stuff for my downloaded music, and it's also nice to just chat about everyday stuff with normal people

Looks like I might not need to go back home in April/May but just for a couple of weeks instead, which would be nice really, as I really have no money for the airfare anyways.

Went to friends for early cocktails, ended up staying for dinner then going to a bar.... it was dead, but somehow we managed to all get pretty smashed , and the old man fell down TWICE in the boat while tying it up back home  LMAO.  Then he proceeded to throw up most of the night and the next morning .  Had no idea he was THAT smashed.

When I got home I went on the net for an hour or so, so I cleared my spinning head a bit before heading to bed, didn't get up until Midday next day though

Well mostly I did today was download music, NOT exciting.     

Chatted for like 3 hours last night with a girl on the Bowie chatroom who lives where my mum grew up in Shropshire, it was spooky the things we had in common...  it's MOST odd when that happens.  We are within 2 years of each other's age, same background, training, work, lives, really ODD  

Did some learning on Photoshop, pretty cool stuff - made some pics of me so I was even thinner   then I made the dog fatter

In the morning when we went to the mainland for me to see the chiropractor...

Somebody was in a foul mood  so that kinda spoilt my day, as we'd been getting on ok recently.  Said he would never take me on his new sail boat and swore at me for no reason all day.

Brief grocery shopping, bumped into Richard and he paid me the money left over from my bar bill weeks ago !

Power was back on by the time we got home thank god.

Invited to a neighbours who just go power at their new house, just drinks and snacks, met some people I never knew lived here !! 

It was ok, but old man went home at 8pm as he had been drinking since 4pm and as soon as I got home (15 mins later) he started abusing me again, swearing at me calling me names for NO reason.  So he was in bed at 8.15pm  

He's a mean bastard when he drinks, I'm tempted to pour it down the sink at times like thes, but then he'd probably wallop me.

  Just as we were about to go to dinner at a neighbours' the power went out at 6pm, and their house doens't have a generator!!  Great, eating in the dark then....

Turns out they had a solar system back up, so it was just a BIT dark .  Yummy appetisers of conche fritters and scallops srapped in bacon   then roast lamb and all the good stuff, followed by chocolate brownies   

They have a new puppy, it's SOOO cute, I wanted to take it home, but wasn't allowed.  Low-key ok kind a night, nothing amazing.

... possibly a trip out this afternoon?? 

My docs appointment was 9am and the damn boat wouldn't start at 8.40am, but luckily I got a ride with a neighbour, but I was still half an hour late.

The sea was UNBELIEVABLE, like a sheet of glass, I could see every single thing on the bottom all the way to the mainland.  Not even a SINGLE ripple on the water, just gorgeous, and very rare for February - it's normally like this most days in July-Oct (except for the tourist boat wake!).  The guy who was giving me a ride was so gobsmacked he took photos of it !

I didn't get into see the doc until 10.15.  While the nurse was doing blood pressure and weight etc he came out and (not having my notes or anything) he actually recognised me from way back last June !  I was amazed.  I guess there's not too many people with my kind of hair... or accent   So he said he'd tried to call me a bunch of times last year about his friend (another doc) in the UK who would see me for the stuff he couldn't 'fix' last year.  He said he'd definately fix it up for when I go back this year.

Anyway, so the lump on the back of my head/neck is nothing to worry about he said, after all I have had it about 15 years!  He took blood to monitor vital stuff for the Roaccutane I'm taking.  He freaked a bit when he found out how long I'd been on it without a blood check-up sooner than now   oops.  Will get the results on Monday probably, although I told the doc I would have to be in danger of my life for me not to continue taking them.

I got him to check out my surgery incisions too as I've had pain in that region ever since going diving on Valentines Day.  He listed a multitude of things it could 'possibly' see and told me to take Ibuprofen   - no, really, ya think??  Already doing it  so he told me to up the dose.  TUT.  Oh and BIGGER tut ...!  He's increased his consultation fee to almost double what it was last year - cripes ! (40 quid to see a doc is ridiculous, but he IS good).

I'm tired now and my back is killing me, and the chiropractor can't see me until possibly Saturday

I was flat-calm this morning and I thought I was going fishing with friends on another island.  I hung around all morning waiting for their call on the VHF, and at 2pm they called to say they weren't going !!   What a waste of a day, I could have gone to the beach...

Well the old man has finally bought a sailboat, a 36ft with 3 double beds and 2 singles - YAY.  But someone warned me recently NOT to go sailing with him.... never know what might happen to me

We'll see, I don't plan on living very long anyways, so may as well have a nice sail or 2 before being plunged into the deep blue for shark food.

Had to separate the damn dog from fighting with a neighbours dog, it was embarrasing and now my dog has a cut eye, not sure about the other one, but it'd been asking for a kicking by my dog for a LONG time

Went to see a friends small sailboat in a harbour on the mainland, was very brief.  Then old man dropped me home and went for 'take out' on another island.  Came home, we ate it, fairly nice civilised conversation, then he downs a valium and slinks off to bed !!!  What's all that about?  Without a word too.  Shame, coz we've been getting on really well these past few days.  Oh well, the words 'grumpy' and 'cunt' spring to mind

Fuck fuck shit and piss !  For the 2ND time now Bravenet has deleted all my entries, LOCKED me out of my own site, but oddly left my photos and links...  

Bummed that they've emptied my tag board too, I forgot the URL's of the friends sites I had on there...   BN said they "MAY" be able to get some of those back though

Said they had 'server issues' - WTF does that mean?  They never heard of back ups??

Anyhoo, I shall be moving this journal to my own website I guess in a day or 2, but will post back here with the NEW web address of it for y'all   Good job I have a CD of my journal, not backed up for about a week though so I reckon I lost about 3 or 4 entries is all.

Oh good news though !!  I got an acceptance letter back from a publisher so i can finally get my book on the scandals and gossip of Abaco printed   YAY ME !!   Can't imagine why someone hasn't done it before...?  Still, I'm sure it was 'better' in the old days, but I have 4 years worth of scandal in the print shop now